The 'Tokunbo' baby

On my way back from my shopping on saturday, I dropped by (unannounced!) to see some friends who had recently moved house. My 20 min visit stretched into 3 hours, I had that much fun. They had both recently returned from trips abroad, one from SA, the other from the US, and we had enough to talk about, child rearing, house-work sans help, conditions for hiring help in SA, arrangy marriage, living in the US as an illegal, etc etc. I asked if they had heard the latest from Eleke (a.k.a Louis Faraquan) Crescent, I had only recently heard it myself - Mothers of 'Tokunbo' babies are being asked to return in 99 years time to renew their visas. Recalling we had a friend who was hell bent on having a 'Tokunbo' baby and who had already made the safe crossing to the US, I asked if they had heard from her and if she had been delivered of her baby. Yes she was fine, and no the baby had not come. Why are we like this? Oyinbo say make you no come, must you go? This our friend had done extensive research before buying a ticket and going to the US to give birth and everyone told her the same thing, oyinbo will not renew your visa and will blacklist your family. Fashi. Na lie this girl still buy ticket go kack for yankee dey wait to born yankee citizen. When I asked why she felt she had to do this, she reeled of a long list of reasons, the child would be able to file for his siblings and parents, the child can go to Harvard and they will not need to pay international rates, hold up. What if this child doesn't want to go to college? She hadn't obviously thought that far! Oyinbo wey get all your details for database, you think they will really let that child file for you? I quickly change the topic, she is a Christian and I could see she wanted to 'faith' it through, no need me jinxing the whole thing for her. I am a Christian also, but I don't think we should be wasting Gods precious time faithing things like yankee pali for our unborn children, when we are clearly breaking the law.

The undelying reason for the 'Tokunbo' baby is the desire of the parent to surpass his own upbringing. This is good but in giving your children what you never had, shouldn't you give them what you had as well? Home cooked meals, a parent taking you to and picking you up from school, weekend baths that turn into water wars, having a parent tuck you in at night, doing homework with someone who actually went to school, watching tv together, having atleast two meals together as a family on a dining table, being embarrased when your parent takes part in the parents race during inter-house sports and doesn't win, worse they fall down, climbing trees for mango and oranges, playing outside from morning till night on school holidays, playing in the rain, falling and having your mum kiss it better almost immediately, having lessons under a tree at home after a shower, lunch and a nap, washing your plate after meals standing on a stool, filling bottles from the filter. I look at parents my age, killing themselves to be able to afford to have a 'Tokunbo' baby forgetting they were not raised by house-girls/boys, nannies, drivers etc. You see them all over the place parents my age, totting kids decked out in designer wear like they were the latest fashion accessory, these kids covered in all sorts of skin ailments, with teeth rotting all because the parents have entrusted their responsibility to the hired help. We were raised by parents whom we saw during daylight hours on weekdays, who taught us how to ride bicycles, settled quarrels between ourselves and our best friends. We learned so much from our parents who were not 'smart' enough to have ensured we were born abroad so we could carry blue or red pali. It will be a huge pity if we fail to invest as much care and attention into our own kids as we try to give them a 'better' life.